“Imagine a version of The Room that’s 10 times as ambitious and twice as incompetent.” The sex scenes in Fateful Findings feel like they were ghost-written by a 10-year-old boy who has yet to be given the “facts of life” speech and imagines that babies are the product of two adults awkwardly hugging each other standing up, sometimes in a shower with one party rocking a dinner plate-sized bandage on his face, and sometimes in the presence of the many laptops that are Fateful Findings’ primary set dressing.
Wiseau at least seemed to have seen a few Cinemax erotic thrillers and surmised that roses, forgettable R&B music, sexy red dresses, and ass-thrusting are essential to the act of making love. Like The Room‘s Tommy Wiseau, Breen is unwisely obsessed with sharing his unclothed body with the world, but while Wiseau thrust the image of his naked ass grinding into the minds, subconsciouses, and nightmares of his audiences with brutal, nightmarish force, Breen treats his audience to scene after scene where his top is ripped off in a sexual frenzy, revealing a hairless, bird-like chest Breen apparently imagines will send women into fits of erotic ecstasy.Īstonishingly, Breen seems to understand the mechanics and psychology of sex even less than Wiseau does.
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The movie has an unmistakable The Room quality, if only because both films are the works of homely middle-aged men the world might otherwise ignore, but who look in the mirror and clearly see a younger, sexier Ryan Gosling with Steve McQueen’s swagger and James Dean’s effortless, timeless cool. The Room is the gold standard for exquisitely, transcendently, historically unself-conscious awfulness, but in recent years its position has been threatened by Neil Breen’s Fateful Findings. The Room occupies a weirdly rarified place in the trash cinema realm as, to quote the title of a documentary about Troll 2 (a previous honoree), the “best worst movie.” Not all customers will be approved for credit.For bad movie lovers, there are few things guaranteed to get pulses racing more than the prospect that some misbegotten cult favorite isn’t just a bad movie for the ages, it’s the next The Room. Zebit’s prices may differ than other retailers’ prices. Zebit will verify information using certain specialty credit reporting agencies which does not affect your FICO® score. Purchasing an electronic certificate today or over time will carry an 18% handling fee. See your Retail Installment Contract for details. $700.00 is financed at 0% APR for 6 months. We may temporarily freeze your ability to use your spending limit to encourage responsible buying behavior and allow you time to establish a positive payment history with us.įinancing terms for $1,000 item: Make a 30% down payment of $300.00. Each order is evaluated and underwritten at checkout using a variety of factors to ensure responsible spending. Zebit verifies your identity, income, and/or employment, to allocate an initial Spending Limit as conditional credit for you to shop, and then we underwrite every purchase attempt at checkout. Zebit has a two-step underwriting process. Most approved customers receive $750-$1,500 for an initial Spending Limit.
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